Lately, I find myself saying the same affirmations in my head as the craziness of the day winds down. As I sit down with a sigh of huge relief while bathing the kids or lying with them in bed as they fall asleep for the night, I silently tell myself, “tomorrow, tomorrow I’ll be better.”
Tomorrow, I will be a better mom.
I will yell less and play more. I will spoil them with my affection and not spoil with them bribes. I will be more patient, more kind and more loving in my words and actions. I will give them all of me, and not what’s left of me.
It isn’t the overwhelming wave of guilt that most of us moms experience from time to time in our journey through parenting little ones. It’s just a reminder I sometimes tell myself, on those harder days as I figuratively pat myself on the back for getting through the day.
I don’t think I’m a bad mom. I think I’m a normal mom. I’m a human being who has limits; who is broken and flawed. I don’t feel guilty about that most of the time; as long as, I know I’ve given them my best.
But, recently, it’s pretty clear to me that I succumb to the cycle of telling myself all of these redundant reminders and positive affirmations, without following through with them in action. Every day seems to be a hard day. When in reality, it’s just a normal day, and it’s my attitude and perspective that is forever stuck on the wrong side.
When the day breaks, I’m full of positive thoughts, only to be crushed with negativity as I argue with the Threenager about what shirt to wear for school. My patience tank is nearly empty by 9am, while dialing into a conference call as I simultaneously wipe off yogurt all over the baby’s face. And in every annoying crevice of the high chair that (never) gets washed.
It’s more than just a reminder for myself after struggling through a hard day. These days, it’s turned into a daily occurrence. An every day pep talk I give myself as a way of excusing my behavior as a mom. And, that’s not okay. It’s not okay that it doesn’t sting when my husband says, “come on babe, be nicer!” Because I’m the first to admit, I need to be nicer. I need to be more patient. I need to be more loving.
Most days, I don’t feel guilty for being human and falling short of perfection. Because, really, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. But, I also know that I should try to live up to my words. I do know that the real perfect parent, is the imperfect one. The one who realizes their flaws, but gives their best [almost] always. My perspective and attitude each day and the actions or inaction it brings forth to my daily parenting, affects my two littles more deeply than any test of my patience will ever harm me.
So while some days will be great and some days will not be great, I refuse to make these “hard day” reminders an “every day” part of my mothering these beautiful souls.
Actions speak louder than words; this reminder rings truer for me during these long days, but short years of raising my two precious, little boys.
So, tomorrow, I’ll be better. Not just in words, but in my actions.
Tomorrow I’ll Be Better
That’s all we can do is slow down and try to do better! I get so impatient some times and hear myself saying things I wished I had not and then apologizing to the child.
This is such a great reminder and something I definitely can relate to. I think some days it’s easy to get worn down with everything, but focusing on the fact that they’re only little once and being present in the moment is so important. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for writing this! I find myself telling my self the same thing every night as I toss and turn with guilt. And each day becomes busier and more hectic than the day before.
Oh I can so so so relate to this. My 2-year-old tantrum’s sometimes wear me down and my patience becomes thin. I DO have mom guilt, even when I try my best. I have to stop that. Thanks for the reminder to just breathe, and believe I’m doing my best 🙂
As a mom of six grown kids I can say yes, the days are long but the years are so, so short! It goes so quickly so try really hard to enjoy every moment. I know it’s easier said than done.
Good morning! It’s great that you’re determined to be a little more patient and positive with your kids. It’s a daily challenge for me, too. Pretty soon, these days won’t just affect my boy’s development, he’ll start remembering them for years to come, too. So I definitely want to make his childhood full of memories with a happy, fun mama! House might not look perfect, etc, but that’s better than being more stressed, I think. Not always easy, but worth it, sigh lol Let’s hang in there and keep reflecting, growing, and taking lots of pics!
This is beautiful. I don’t have kids yet but I am always so impressed by parents and your ability to push through and be vulnerable and selfless. Thank you for sharing <3
Rachel | http://www.theconfusedmillennial.com
YES! I was actually going to say “the days are long but the years are short” but then saw you already posted that! 😉 I pray about this every single day. It’s crazy how easy it is to blow up about silly things and lose your cool because dinner was thrown on the floor AGAIN, but they’re little. These precious babes are just learning and we are their biggest examples and heroes. I’m right there with you, mama. You are strong and more than capable of doing this motherhood journey! 🙂 <3
Being a mom is tough! I think we all have days that we feel like we can do better or be a better mom. I know personally, I have a lot of those days…maybe I yelled too much, got frustrated too fast….but at the end of the day all I can do is say that tomorrow will be better and do my best to make that happen. We are moms..but we are also human. We make mistakes.
You are doing an amazing job, Mama!!
It’s so easy to speak positively, but following through is definitely the important part…and hard to do EVERYday! Hang in there, Momma, you’re doing great 🙂
“The days are long, but the years are short”- My son is almost 2 and I am already beginning to understand this quote. Somedays our best intentions to SHOW UP are blasted by everyday stress and annoyances, which is such a bummer. I like your gentle mantra of “Tomorrow I will be better”. All we can ever do is our best; recognize where we missed the mark and work to do better. Thank you for sharing your truth.
Beautifully written! I always tell myself that as well.
Mom guilt is so real and so powerful but over time I’ve learned to shake it off when it starts creeping up. As an imperfect busy mom of three, it’s ant important survival instinct. lol. You’re doing amazing and your love for your kids as well as fervor for life shows through all your posts and writings. You’re doing great and you got this mama. Your family is lucky to have you.
Okay, I’ll admit I kind of needed this. I’m struggling right now to get a handle on my new status as mom of two, and I keep saying, “Tomorrow … tomorrow … tomorrow.” You are right that sometimes we really do need to give ourselves some grace and try again tomorrow, but when it becomes our everyday mantra, maybe we need to reexamine some things.
Great post – challenging, but not condemning. And very, very relevant for many moms.
This is such a great post. Being a mama is tough! We are not perfect by any means, but I have always believed as long as we are trying our best to be our best for our kids, then that’s all we can do:)
This is a great post. I don’t have any children yet but when I do, these are all great ways to parent. No one is perfect but you are doing a great job!
OMG I am fully convinced that you wrote this post for me! It is definitely a challenge to balance so much in life as mothers, wahm’s, friends and wives. It is hard to beat up on yourself but, this is such a good reminder and couldn’t have come at a better time. Thanks for sharing!!!
It’s like you were speaking to me. Lately I’ve been struggling with keeping it together. It’s not like my kids are terrible, but some days its just so hard. Thanks for letting us know you struggle too.
I absolutely adored this post. I have felt this way so much lately.
So beautifully said my mama friend…even as the kids get older I’m still having to remind myself these affrimations. We are all in this together and you’re doing an amazing job! Xx
I can totally relate! Mommin is hard work, especially having patience! It’s not my strong suit but I’m trying! Wonderfully written and a great reminder!
Yell less and play more. I need to put that on sticky notes for myself all over the house.
Beautiful post. I can so relate to this, and its easy to beat ourselves up. Such a great reminder. Thank you for sharing xx
I needed to read this! Thank you!
Beautiful my friend! I shared on Facebook because it spoke to my heart. Xo
Love this! So true. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. It’s about embracing the imperfection and getting better by the day 🙂
Great perspective. I think it is so important for our kids to know we are real human beings. Human beings that aren’t always perfect and who mess up from time to time. Admitting your flaws, apologizing when necessary and visibly making an effort to do better is a great model for your kids. Good job, mama!
Uhh I think this ALL THE TIME! Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts.
Amen sister. I know so many moms out there feel the exact same way!!!! That’s for sharing your struggles because you never know what mom needed to read this at this exact moment. You’re so amazing my friend!!!! XOXOXO
Just what I needed to read today. Thank you so much for sharing!
This is such a great post! Sometimes we need the reminder that tomorrow is another day and we can strive to do better.
I love this post. I think this is how we all feel! Do you work from home? I’m wondering because of your conference call comment. I do, and I feel like I always need to give more to my kids. It’s very hard to balance.
I have been in this feeling lately. struggling with being better. I will definitely try and remember I am not perfect.
Absolutely beautiful! Being a mom is the toughest jobs out there but the most rewarding.
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