Do you remember your biggest lesson in motherhood?
For me, it’s not one big lesson that comes to mind, but a constant flow of reminders and a-ha moments that repeat itself throughout the cycle of our days.
Motherhood is a dichotomy of emotions. It’s raw and it’s pure. It’s been the greatest teacher in my life and I know that I’m learning constantly about myself as a mother and a woman.
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I remember taking this picture when my littlest love was just a couple of weeks old. I was sleep-deprived, hangry all the time, and transitioning to life with two young children. I remember tearing up while writing it then. And here I am less than two weeks away from celebrating his first birthday, re-reading and tearing up again. Because the sentiments ring true for me daily all these months later.
Originally written August 2, 2015.
The days are long, but the years are short. There isn’t a more spot-on phrase to describe this roller coaster journey of motherhood. I’ve been fortunate enough to experience it twice and I’m learning to love myself through the fun days and the long days.
I’m learning to appreciate the little moments; the good ones and the hard ones.
I’m learning to love myself as a mama to my two littles, despite the dark circles under my eyes, white hairs on my head, and soft pudge of my belly that carried them both for 9 months.
I’m learning to forgive myself in my low moments, where my patience for my oldest little seems to be running on empty even at the start of the day; and I am more than exhausted to carry on the seemingly never ending cycle of the newborn days.
I’m learning that even in my worst state, my love for my two littles is in an abundance that I never fathomed possible of my selfish soul.
I’m learning that I am the best me because of them; and their love for me is completely and utterly unconditional despite my shortcomings.
I’m learning that being their mama is God’s greatest gift and life lesson.
To me, this is motherhood.