6.3.16

A Letter to My Second Child

Oh dear second child. My sweet, sweet littlest love…

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Where do I even begin? You have been an angel from day 1. I heard from the beginning that a second child will come fast. But never did I think it would actually happen to me, since I went overdue with your brother. You came fast and furiously, two weeks before your due date and gave your mama the ‘dream’ labor and delivery (as far as childbirth can be dreamy.) You literally came flying out, thirty minutes after I was admitted into the hospital, just in time for my OB to walk in and say “hey you had the baby!” And I was only there reluctantly at your daddy’s insistence, since it was my first time with my waters being broken spontaneously at home. You were my baby that made me say, “did I just give birth, like really babe, did I just have our second baby?”

Even though I started this post initially as a love letter for you, I think it’s just turned into a list of things that I am so very sorry that you’ve had to endure in your almost 11 months of life. But such is life with being a second child. The struggle is real. And I get it, you’ve got a lifetime of #secondchildprobs coming your way.

I’m sorry that being my second child…

  • that you’ve had to sleep all over the place and at all different times of the day, because you were born in July, your mama gets stir crazy, and your almost 3 yo brother at the time needed to burn his energy somewhere outside of the house. Thank you for being a good sleeper despite this chaotic regiment in your early months.
  • that when you grab a toy, it suddenly becomes your big bro’s most prized possession and he snatches it out of your hand, saying “hey that’s mine!” even though half the time, it actually is a baby toy that belongs to you.

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  • that you’ve probably had more dog hairs in your mouth from my carelessness at letting you grab whatever or crawl through whatever, as long as it gives me time to do another task like making dinner or chasing after your brother.

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  • that you’ve been left to cry longer than we ever let your brother fuss because mama learned early on that when you have two or more crying kids, that I should tend to the one with the memory, so that they don’t hold onto any resentment for not being taken care of first, all the time. (Best advice I received by the way as a second time mom).
  • that you get the least amount of time with daddy because he has to do bedtime with your brother and mama gets her time after you go to sleep, but you need me to nurse you before bedtime and he’s often gone to work when you wake up in the morning. He misses you hard a lot of days.
  • that strangers call you a girl because of your beautiful hair and adorable face and assume you’re a girl because your brother is a boy. And apparently it’s a given that every family has one of each gender.
  • that you’ve gotten hand me downs of pretty much everything, but being our second boy, it only made sense for us to reuse a lot of things from the oodles and oodles of things from our shower for your brother.
  • that I am so tired of nursing that I may just wean after this trip away from you next week because I don’t think I can handle any more bites or distracted nursing sessions.
  • that I haven’t kept track of your milestones or used a baby log app because as long as your happy and healthy, that’s all mama has time to remember these days. (Hello, your 10 month pics will be done at 11 months).
  • that you’ve endured more hospital procedures than I have in my almost 33 years on the planet, but I am so, so happy that you’re healthy and that at the end of it all, you are one healthy and strong baby boy.
  • that you aren’t as spoiled with attention by your grandparents because your brother was “the first” on both sides, I secretly think that you’re their favorite these days (of the threenager) though.
  • that you eat more pouches than your brother ever did, (you do love them more than he ever did), but everything is around time saving and convenience to get you both fed at mealtimes.
  • that we call you our baby dinosaur, but OMG you are a loud, feisty one! You shriek like a pterodactyl according to your daddy and dino-obsessed big bro. (Yes, spell-check auto-corrected that dino name for me).

But despite all of these apologies, one thing that I know for certain, is how very fiercely you are loved by each one of us; your umma, daddy, and ‘hyung-ah’ (big bro). You’ve changed our lives for the better and our hearts have grown leaps and bounds over what we ever thought possible. And hey, unlike your big bro, you wound up with two (more) relaxed and easy going parents who are more confident in themselves and a big bro who looks out for you (most) days and tells everyone how you’re his best friend.

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You are our happy baby. You are our chill baby. You are our littlest baby. And we are so lucky to call you ours, forever and ever.

We love you so much, Camden Michael. And we can’t wait to celebrate your first birthday with you next month!

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Parents of two or more, you feel me? Anything you’d like to say to your second child or youngest?

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44 Comments

  1. Emily wrote:

    Such a sweet boy!

    Your first one is so true and common! It’s easy to be more strict with the first kiddo’s sleep…then the more children you have the more that goes out the window. It creates a resilient and flexible kiddo, hopefully?

    Don’t forget what you do NOT need to apologize for…clearly you love your little guy dearly. 🙂

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Yes, Cam has definitely been more flexible and resilient! Thanks for reading Emily 🙂

      Published 6.5.16
  2. Kim wrote:

    This was so sweet. I need to write one to my second. So true that they sleep anywhere because of the oldest. Happy almost birthday to your sweet boy. I would tell my second she was the perfect addition to our family and she makes us happy every single day!

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Thanks so much Kim. I can’t wait to read yours for your little girl soon!

      Published 6.3.16
  3. What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing this experience with us and letting other moms know we are not alone!

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Yes, we all need to bond together over the similar experiences we share as moms!

      Published 6.4.16
  4. So incredibly thoughtful to write all this down because (as we all know) mommy brain. ???? I’ve forgotten a lot already. You’re a great mama! Xo

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Mom brain is so, so real. Thanks Jess and so glad to have connected with you! Have a great weekend!

      Published 6.4.16
  5. Lauren wrote:

    Wow…I can relate to almost every single thing in this post! Sadly, even the hospital visits. He will know he’s just as loved for sure! I feel guilty sometimes that I was a single parent and did every single thing with my oldest, yet miss out on some things with my youngest because we have a daddy in the house now too (a great thing!).

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      You are a great mama Lauren!! I am sure your kids are so well loved!

      Published 6.5.16
  6. Precious. The great part is he’ll never know anything but the fact that you loved him dearly!

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Yes! Thanks for the reassurance Kellie!

      Published 6.4.16
  7. Melissa wrote:

    Awww, this is such a sweet letter! I think my younger sister could identify with this, but she turned out great, so don’t worry!! xoxo

    Melissa | So About What I Said

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Thanks for the reassurance Melissa! 🙂 No matter the birth order, all that matters is how well loved they are, right?

      Published 6.5.16
  8. Second children (and 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th) come out more easy going and well adjusted IMHO:)

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      haahaha yes, second time was MUCH easier!

      Published 6.3.16
  9. Rachel wrote:

    aw, so sweet! I can’t believe he’s about to turn 1?! wow..

    I love the best advice your friend gave you as a second time mom.. as a first child I do still have those memories (and being honest, still kind of feel that resentment from being ‘replaced’). You’re such a thoughtful, loving, fantastic umma! <3

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      I know! TIme flies!! You are the sweetest every my friend! XO

      Published 6.5.16
  10. Lovely post, really nice words! And he is the cutest, oh my god!!!

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      You are the sweetest mama! Thank you!

      Published 6.3.16
  11. Love this. I can relate to so much of this. My boy was only 19 months old when his little sister was born. She definitely had to sleep on the go, play with hand-me-down toys, and spend a little more time crying than her big bro! Both of your children are adorable! 🙂

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Aww, thank you so much! Second children really are more flexible and easy going, I guess they kind of have to be? 🙂

      Published 6.4.16
  12. Doris wrote:

    Lovely post!!! I have started with my letter to my little girl and cannot wait to post it. Great photos…

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Thanks so much Doris! Can’t wait to read yours!

      Published 6.3.16
  13. Stephanie wrote:

    All you are saying sorry for is par for the second child course, isn’t it? I love how the 2nd baby always just goes with the flow. They don’t really have much of a choice, do they?

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Yes! I love that they are so flexible! Although it’s not really up to them, haha!

      Published 6.5.16
  14. Jessica wrote:

    So sweet and so true about a second child!

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Thanks Jessica, second child probs are so true! Hope you had a great weekend!

      Published 6.5.16
  15. So frickin cute – look at his little face. A really sweet post. xx

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Thank you Anna for your sweet words and for reading!

      Published 6.3.16
  16. A wonderful letter. For those moms who have more than one child will learn that they grow up just fine without all the fuss. I have two a girl then a boy. They were opposite from the start and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Awww, they’re worth it all!! Yes, being a second time mom, I’m much more relaxed this time around!

      Published 6.3.16
  17. Andi wrote:

    Yes, yes, and yes! I’m reading this as my second tries to nap in my arms while his older brother is screaming songs in the background, lol. It’s crazy how different it all is this time around. And my baby is a July baby too!

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Awww bday month twins, thanks for reading Andi. It’s so true that the second has to be flexible from the get go!

      Published 6.3.16
  18. Brittany Giles wrote:

    This is so sweet!

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Thanks so much for reading Brittany!

      Published 6.3.16
  19. This is a beautiful letter to your baby, and he is so adorable! He’s going to love this when he’s older!

    Published 6.3.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Thanks so much for reading Jasmine, have a great weekend!

      Published 6.3.16
  20. Lauren wrote:

    Awww this was really sweet! And also kind of eye opening for someone that still only has one baby!

    http://Www.myplotofsunshine.com

    Published 6.4.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      Thanks Lauren! I’m glad I can share some real life experience about having two! 🙂

      Published 6.5.16
  21. Becca Wilson wrote:

    I can definitely relate to this. My youngest gets a lot of our attention, so I guess mine would be what I would say to my oldest child. I have an 8 yr old, 3 yr old and 1 yr old. So he often gets the short end as we focus on the other two that are younger.

    Published 6.5.16
    • JeeYoung wrote:

      That makes a lot of sense, Becca, that older kids probably get less attention! Thanks for reading!

      Published 6.5.16
  22. Tamara Goyette wrote:

    The toy grabbing drives me crazy, and I feel so bad about it. My second is always having her toys taken away by the first.

    Published 6.8.16
  23. Emily wrote:

    Adorable!!! He’s so cute. Haha I don’t have two but I can totally relate to so many of these! And hey, I’m all about the pouches! ???? But at least I buy organic, right?! ???? All about convenience these days!!

    Published 9.9.16

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