It’s just past 9pm on a Saturday night of what feels like our real Spring. The sun has set to cool the air to just the right temp for a night on the town with friends and my man who still (sometimes) gives me butterflies. I can taste the smell of good wine and my ears are already buzzing with the adult convo and laughter to be had.
Then I wake up from my daydream and realize that, duh, we don’t have plans nor a babysitter tonight. Tonight is simply about Netflix and chill. No double entendre here, folks. Just two parents who want to numb their brains with wine! allthealcohols and mind-numbing binge sessions on the latest TV series.
When we were driving home (for the boys’ bedtime dash) from my parents earlier tonight, D and I wistfully talked about how in our past life we would be googling the latest bar or restaurant to check out, freely drinking and eating ourselves to happiness while taking in our most favorite pastime: people watching from our perfect table for two on the outdoor patio.
The one thing I miss most about pre-baby life is spontaneity. The ability to do things on a whim, without having to schedule or plan every detail of the day or night like we were the heads of the Secret Service. Whether it’s sleeping in without a second thought or driving up north for a weekend, at the root of it all is the freedom to do things whenever and just because you feel like it!
It goes without saying (even though I’m saying it) that I love our life and our babies and I wouldn’t change a thing. And I feel grateful that D and I live near both sets of our parents and have an immense amount of support from our extended village who help us to keep our sanity in the midst of raising two littles. But, sometimes I remember that I’m human. And that it’s okay for me reminisce about the past and miss it. It’s not that “I had a life” before my babies, it’s “I had a different life.”
And sometimes it’s okay that a bowl of the good ice cream and taking off my bra are the highlights of my (current) Saturday night. You feel me mamas?