Tuesdays are my office days.
Every Tuesday morning, I wake up earlier than normal, to enjoy a cup of hot coffee straight from the pot and not the microwave. I skip to the bathroom to put my face on, do my hair, and put on real (re: no leggings) pants to battle the 30 minute to 1 hour commute of 15 miles to my office.
And despite the wretched drive, every Monday night, I am giddy with excitement, packing my lunch (usually) and picking out an outfit and a cute pair of heels (sometimes) to look like a real adult.
My mornings are usually filled with checking e-mails and jumping from conference room to conference room meeting with various colleagues to discuss current projects and timelines. Lunch hour is spent with my work friends at the newest spot down the street. And most of my office days are filled to the brim with constant activity and chatter that I don’t have a moment to miss my babies.
But then there are those days. Those days where after the morning hustle quiets down, and I sit in front of my computer with a half cup of cold coffee in the late afternoon, wondering what my littles are up to; if the threenager had a good day at school or if the baby took a good morning nap.
I slowly sift through the camera roll on my phone and look through the pictures from last weekend and giggle to myself as I silently watch the videos from last night’s bath time. And then I look up to check the clock one more time to see how much longer I have before I get to make that wretched drive home.
And thus the dichotomy that is motherhood.
I crave adult conversations. I crave time to myself. And yet, sometimes, when I get that time I am swept away with mom guilt and a gut wrenching pull to be near my babies. Grass is always greener, right? When I’m in the thick of the mothering my littles, all I can think about is the break away; and yet, when I’m at the office, all I think of is being at home and hearing their giggles and laughter in my ears.
It’s the constant push and pull of balance between taking care of my babies, but remembering to take care of myself too. And I think the latter is something that is often easy to forget because there are a million other things to do on any given day. It doesn’t make it any less important though. And that’s something I’m trying to remind myself of every day.
So as I start to pack my carry-on for this upcoming weekend for my annual momcation weekend with a few of my mama loves, I try to emotionally prepare to be away from my babies for a few days. For both my own sanity and for my babies to have some quality time with their daddy, I’m going to take the time for me and spend this weekend laughing and talking with friends that I only get to see once a year.
And probably just miss them (a little bit.) Can you blame me?
Do you find it easy or hard to get away for me-time? How do you balance enjoying time for yourself (while missing your babies)?